


Dance, Biscuit, Dance!

by katychan666



Series: The drunk adventures of Malec [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Bad attempt at humor, M/M, crackfic, drunk!Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 10:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15861489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katychan666/pseuds/katychan666
Summary: Alec gets hammered and drags Clary to the dance floor in the attempt to get their boyfriends' attention, who keep ignoring them.Bonus: Magnus is very impressed with Alec's... dancing skills ;)





	Dance, Biscuit, Dance!

**Author's Note:**

> I thought it was a good idea when i was writing this, but now... i dont know. it sucks kinda, but eh xD. i wanted to write some alec and biscuit bonding so here it is xD

''Fray, let's go dance,'' said Alec, taking Clary's hand and he dragged the red-head to the dance floor.

They were currently at the Pandemonium, Alec hammered as fuck and he wanted to dance. Magnus was too busy with talking to one of his clients and Alec slipped into one of his usual sulking moods, so he decided to have a good time all on his own. Well, he dragged Clary with him. It was either her or Jace and at the time, she seemed like a better company to dance with. Yes, Alec Lightwood was in the mood to dance and Clary was giggling as he was being dragged to the dance floor, quite drunk as well and Jace's jaw dropped when he saw the two of them making their way to the dance floor. Jace was sulking. _He_ wanted to dance with his girlfriend!

“Alec, wait!” said Clary in between his giggles as Alec ended up running into one of the people on the dance floor, but he didn’t mind it. He shooed them away and he happily grinned when he cleared the spot for him and his friend to dance. Alec could notice that Clary was quite bored as well as Jace was busy with talking on his phone with Izzy, so he decided to get back to their boyfriends. His plan? Alec’s plan was to make Magnus all hot and bothered with his sexy dance moves on the dance floor, but then once he would want to come dance with him, he wouldn’t be able to touch him

Such a perfect way for revenge!

“Fray, can you dance?” asked Alec, his speech slurred and Clary arched an eyebrow, shrugging and he then started laughing when Alec decided to show her a few of his _sexy_ dance moves. He was a _pro._ Not at all, with his long limbs and stiff posture he looked like a scare crow, but he was having fun and that was all that matter, taking Clary’s hand again and he pulled her closer. “Dance, Biscuit, _dance,_ ” said Alec happily.

“I’m not much of a dancer,” said Clary and snorted when Alec waved with his hand in front of her eyes.

“Nonsense,” said Alec and shook his head. “You-you just gotta relax them hips,” said Alec and started rolling his hips around, convinced that he looked sexy, but it looked more like he would pop out his hip every time now and Jace was dying with laughter when he saw his _Parabatai._ “See! These hips don’t lie,” said Alec and shook his booty to the rhythm of the song, Jace face-palming himself when he saw that Clary was actually _listening_ to him.

“Alec, I-”

“Clary!” whined Alec and shook his head. “You’re doing it wrong,” he said, drunkenly grinning and he then rubbed his palms together, giving her an awkward wink and Clary arched an eyebrow, listening to his _sensei._ Very well, let Alec teach her. “See, you gotta go like this to look sexy,” said Alec, swaying on his legs and he then squatted down, popped out his botty and slowly stood up again. “Try-try it,” he then said and proudly smiled when Clary did his “dance move”.

“Like this?”

“Yes,” said Alec and nodded. “I’m such a good teacher,” he then said, patting his own back, because hell yeah, he was amazing. Then, he held Clary’s hands again and started spinning them around, the red-head throwing her head back and she started laughing loudly, Alec happily grinning as well. He was having fun. When he was drunk, even Fray was fun and he frowned when looked over at Jace, who was still just laughing. “Your boyfriend is an ass,” announced Alec. “He doesn’t appreciate you,” he then said and shook his head.

“Your doesn’t look much better,” said Clary and pointed to Magnus, who was now watching them as well, his client gone, but was laughing on top of his lungs when he watched Alec drunkenly ‘dancing’ and Alec’s jaw dropped. Okay, what the hell?! Magnus should be lucky that he was able to touch all of that! Alec knew he looked sexy and hot when he was dancing like that, but his boyfriend didn’t appreciate that at all and he pouted, looking down at Clary, who was angrily glaring at Jace, flipping him off and the look on Jace’s face was priceless, Alec bursting into loud laughter, allowing Clary to drag him somewhere to the side.

Clary dragged Alec to the bathrooms, determined to make them look drop dead gorgeous. Alec narrowed his eyes when she turned on the faucet and then fluffed Alec’s hair with her wet fingers, Alec narrowing his eyes when he looked his dishevelled look in the mirror. “What-what are you doing?” asked Alec as he hiccupped.

“Trust me, Magnus will _drool_ when he sees you,” said Clary, then messing around with her own hair and Alec started thinking. Wow, Biscuit wasn’t half wrong, because now with his hair slightly wet, he looked like he had been sweating and with a drunk smile, he unbuttoned a few of his buttons on his shirt and winked at himself. Magnus was so going to drool when he was going to see him and he then looked over at Clary, who had put her hair up, some of it messily falling down.

“How do I look?” asked Alec happily.

“Hot,” said Clary and then undid one button on her own shirt and then looked at Alec. “And me?”

“Good,” said Alec, shrugging. What, he didn’t know what to say?

“Good isn’t enough,” said Clary and drunkenly hiccupped. “I need to look _hot_ ,” she said and Alec snorted.

“Well,” said Alec and shrugged. “I might not be the best to give you opinions. I’m gay, remember?”

“Oh, right!” said Clary and Alec started snorting when he saw Alec checking herself in the mirror again, fixing up her make up and she then nodded. “I look hot as fuck,” she announced and Alec cheered her on. “Come on, let’s make our boyfriends lose it,” she then said and Alec dragged her towards the dance floor again.

They danced together, again, Alec moving his hips slowly from the side to the side, Clary trying to mimic the master of dance. Alec kept eyeing at Magnus, who was now just watching and Alec smiled. Oh, it was working. That was why he slowly unbuttoned all of his buttons, so that he was revealing his naked chest and Magnus’ jaw dropped, Alec sending him a wink and then turned a little bit, laughing when he felt Clary turning around as well.

Magnus was… drooling. He really was, because Alexander was stunning, biting his lower lip when he watched Alec unbuttoning his shirt and then soon after that, much to the warlock’s luck, the other took the shirt off completely, throwing it onto the floor and Clary started cracking up. Magnus’ eyes went to Alec again, who bent down and started shaking his ass towards Magnus’ direction and the warlock thanked the lord that Alec decided to wear very tight pants that day, because _wow._

Alec looked over his shoulder and grinned when he saw Magnus watching him, giving him own ass a few slaps, making Clary laugh that much harder next to him, but Magnus seemed to like the attention, biting his lower lip tightly, his eyes dark with hunger and Alec smiled proudly, going to Clary.

“Magnus likes my dance,” said Alec.

“He does,” said Clary. “Meanwhile my boyfriend continues being an asshole,” said Clary, devastated that Jace didn’t like her dance. Honestly, she felt like slapping her boyfriend.

The thing was, Jace was jealous and he started sulking when Clary wrapped her arms around Alec’s neck and Alec started spinning around, then holding her hands, he slowly spun her around. That was because he wanted to cheer Biscuit up, but Jace just looked away and Clary rolled her eyes, Alec doing the same. “He’s jealous,” said Alec and started laughing.

“Yeah,” said Clary and pouted. “He sucks,” she then added and shook her head.

“Does he swallow too?” asked Alec and started laughing like a madman.

“Alec!”

“What? I do,” said Alec innocently and Clary just gaped and blinked a few times when she heard what Alec said. Yep, he was definitely hammered and she started laughing again, shaking her head as he laughed and then sighed when she saw Jace slowly standing up, going to the bar and she rolled her eyes.

“Good to know,” said Clary. “I, um…” said Clary. “Will go check up on Jace.”

“Ah, yes, probably for the best. Baby needs attention,” he said and Clary gave him a look, Alec bowing his head down a little bit and then Clary slowly made her way to Jace, who was looking like a little sulking puppy and Alec kept entertaining himself as he watched the two bickering at the bar, distracted, so that he didn’t really notice Magnus coming behind him, almost jumping when he felt someone giving him a back hug and he quickly turned around.

“Magnus! You almost gave him a heart attack!”

“Just returning the favour for giving me one before with all of those sexy moves,” said Magnus with a sly smirk and Alec grinned drunkenly and happily wrapped his arms around Magnus, who slowly turned him around his hands and pressed up against him, putting his hands onto Alec’ waist and moved one of them to his ass.

“Magnus, we’re-”

“You need to show me some more moves, Alexander,” whispered Magnus into his ear and Alec grinned, gasping when he felt Magnus slowly moving to the beat of the song, slowly grinding up against him and he slowly turned around with his head.

“How about you show me a few of yours, Mr. Bane,” purred Alec and again, turned around in Magnus arms and gently cupped his face. “I’ve heard you’ve got quite the talent,” he whispered against Alec’s lips and Magnus chuckled.

“Oh, yes… you have no idea,” said Magnus, grinning.

“Or how about,” said Alec, giggling again. “I show you a few more of mine… take you for a magical ride,” he said, giggling again and Magnus just had to shake his head. Alec’s flirting was so bad, but he _loved_ him for it and he kissed him hungrily.

“Mmm… I’d love to take your offer of a magical ride.”

“Prepare yourself,” said Alec. “I’ll show you… a whole new world,” slurred Alec and started laughing when he felt Magnus pulling him close and giving his neck a few soft kisses, both of them laughing, foreheads pressed together as they continued to dance for a few more moments, until Magnus decided that it was enough, allowing Alec to take him on a wonderful, magical ride once they portalled themselves back to their loft.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading :)


End file.
